But to fear learning to walk and to explore… to learn through trial and error…? That comes from a perceived threat that we learn by-and through-our associations. We’re wired to naturally fear danger, and to fear being cast out and ostracized, because to our ancient genetics, community meant safety.
There’s no one to blame. It’s no one’s fault. Fear of failure is just an unconscious societal indoctrination that has evolved over time. Parents, teachers and the school systems that reward success and penalize failure, reinforce our avoidance of failure. It is taught at home and it is taught at school. Unfortunately, fear of failure is taught. So if the determination to succeed and immunity to failure is innate in children, where does it go? How do we lose it? ~LeAura Alderson, writer, editor, creator ® Fear of Failure is a Learned Behavior “If you fear failure, it’s time to let it go… to rule over it, and show it who’s boss. When he’s certain that “no means no”, he’ll just come up with another plan over time. To walk.Īnd of course, children also know that persistence wears down resistance. The toddler relentlessly pursues her goal. The child unconsciously knows that the road to success requires persistence, determination, and perseverance. Every parent knows the tenacity and perseverance of a child determined to get his or her own way. The toddler never fears walking, no matter how many times she falls. The road to success is paved with failure. Fear of failure inhibits your travel on the road to success. So don’t let fear of failure hold you back. Another great tool is the Serenity Prayer.Īnd wisdom to know the difference. Here’s another article where we’ve shared a highly effective approach for handling any possible stressful life and death circumstance. “I let go of my fear so that I wouldn’t die a thousand imagined deaths.” So I lived through that death in my mind… dying once… then I let it all go. I thought that I would like to go out helping and comforting fellow passengers instead of dying a fearful death. I imagined instead, the kind of person I would like to be in my last days, hours or minutes, and should I die in such a horrendous way. When it came to my fear of flying, I realized that if I were to die in a plane crash, then there’s nothing I could do about it. Most of the time the fear of the thing is far worse than the thing itself, which almost never happens anyway. In other words, the fear of the thing-whatever it may be-is a longer, slower sentence of distress. Then I finally realized that all the years of anguish around flying were far longer than would be such a death. It certainly gouged my enjoyment of travel and also hindered the enjoyment of those close to me, concerned for my pain. It’s possible that the intensity of stress around that fear, shaved some time off my life. But this… I relived my friend in this horrific crash until it escalated into a full-blown fear of flying. I had a friend die in the ValuJet airplane crash in the Florida everglades in 1996. There were various contributing factors, sealed by one huge one. To inhibit your progress due to fear is to feel that pain far more than if that thing feared came true.
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